Slipstream : Bang! Bang! Bang! Keepin It Real!
by Angstreunion
Summary: Summary: Slipstream And Starscream share far too much in common, inclusive of their total distain for each other. This is a small snapshot into a few moments around Slipstream and her influence over many of her team mates in the canteen.


Slipstream : Bang! Bang! Bang! Keepin It Real.

* * *

Slipstream is what you'd call a dynamic persona. The apple does fall far from the tree. She's very, very much like Starscream, and they can't stand each other.

Luckily in the evenings She's mostly in her command quarters playing loud music and masturbating while watching porn on her tablet so they don't bump into each other alot and have rows. .

They have however, have such massive bitchy rows that usually end up with them screaming at each other at the tops of their voices and everyone stops to listen.

They share all the same traits of being shady, morally bankrupt, manipulative and duplicitous. They'll do anything to get want they want. We all joke that if they teamed up, this place would be hell. Also, Slipstream seems to be rich too. She seems to have a wage like Starscream.

They Lord it over everyone because they have high positions bestowed on them by Megatron. Ofcourse, whenever they try to stitch each other up or bitch to Megatron, he tells them to settle it amongst themselves, which is weird because whenever Starscream throws someone under the bus to Megatron, he comes down on them like a ton of bricks.

Needless to say, whenever they're fucked off with each other. We all suffer.

Slipstream is also fruity and divisive. Shes into scheming, violence and casual sex. She never seems to develop attachments to anyone though, however there are some people she favours more them others.

But, like Starscream, she'll be whatever you want her to be. She's different things to different people. I guess it depends on what ever kind of sex she's after that evening. She'll approach the person she 'wants some' off with an approach taylored to their Mentality and psychology, for maximum effect in getting what she wants.

She has regular friends with benefits with some people in the base and can be exceptionally cruel and harsh if she feels the benefits were lacking in any way and will openly berate the person publicity with any minor issue or indiscretion in their sexual abilities.

This is how we're all pretty sure that Screamer and Streamer haven't actually slept together, because if they had then I'm sure we would all have heard all the details of how selfish and crap they both were to each other.

But generally, people she's sweet on, she tends to go back to and no one hears a thing about it.

For example...

* * *

 **In the Decepticon Canteen**

Most of the Seekers sat at a table chatting.

"So what's everyone up to then?" Nacelle said looking at the bored faces around the table.

"The usual shit. I wanna do something different. Without fucking Starscream ruining it." Novastorm added.

"Oh come on. I like Starscream. He's really funny." Skywarp said.

"Yeah, but only cause he's a fucking comedian. You say that also only because he's your Trine leader so you two crush on him" Hook said.

Thundercracker threw him a disgusted look, "I fuckin don't."

"Neither do I, I just like the guy. He's hilarious. Just don't make him mad and he won't annoy everyone. Get him drunk and he sings and dances too." Skywarp added.

"Yeah, badly. He's all nasal when he sings, and you keep getting him to sing passages from songs, making our audio receptiors rupture. I'd rather listen to Soundwave on the bloody karaoke machine. " Nacelle responded.

"If Skywarp asks Starscream to say 'Oh my God, Look at her butt' when he's drunk, one more time I'm belting them both." Hook said as he watched Slipstream slink into the room and bend in front of a vending machine provocatively while looking in it. .

"Come on, Its funny. He has the elocution for it. That boy was made to entertain! He does all the clicks and weird sounds in his sentences when he's off his face. But I think he's funniest when he's trying not to be." Skywarp noted.

Slipstream walked to the table and slumped down, "Hello boys."

They all said a rather enthusiastic hi as she opened her drink and threw a straw in it. "Hey, Skywarp. I made something for ya..."

"Really? What?"

She held out an intricate origami bird In her hand. "You know that cat I made you, well, here's a bird."

Skywarp took it and looked at it, "Wow, this is really nice! It looks as complicated as the ones Skyfire used to make. I've still got his. Thank you Streamer I'll put this with the others in my quarters. "

"Okay but don't put the cat and the bird together! Just in case kitty gets hungry. I made a couple more, I put them on my shelf in my quarters. I want to show the new ones to you and how to make them, if you want to pop by later." She said sipping from the straw in her can.

"Sure! I'd like that." Skywarp said turning it in his hands and pulling on a wing slightly to see the folds.

Vortex burst in the door and sat at the table. "That's it. Fuck it. I've had enough. Fuck getting a girlfriend, I'm sticking with Whores." he said before folding his arms as if in accomplishment.

"What's up dude?" Skywarp asked.

"Some fucking dating app. It guarantees finding someone like yourself. Well, guess what. I fuckin haven't. Not since my last girlfriend but she fuckin left me just because I raped a hostage. I mean, come on! I'm only trying to do my job here and shit. She was the only great person on this whole app and now she's gone. She really liked me and had a high pain threshold. She's was perfect. Now she says she's found someone better then me... "

" Better? As in, more extreme? " Nacelle asked.

" Yeah. "

" Does this woman actually enjoy living? " Nacelle replied.

" Well yeah, she's off on fuckin holiday having a great time now, I've seen a recent pic of her and she's black and blue. And they're just aren't that many women on this app. It's mostly guys looking for women. I need a drink. " Vortex said getting up to go over to the machine to get a drink. He eyed Slipstream up and down,but knew he had to be careful because she welded the same arbitrary power as Starscream." Hey, fancy a drink later?" he asked her.

" Does the drink involve fuckin you?" She said flatly in a low tone.

"Well..." Vortex said said looking around, "Would you want it to?"

"Show me your goods and I'll tell you if I'm interested." Slipstream said bored.

"What like, now? Unpressurised and shit?" Vortex asked.

Slipstream leant agaisnt the wall. "Dude, I fucking sleep with Seekers, you're always goin to fuckin lose in the size department. What's in it for me except for a cheap opportunity to cum? Just wanted to see if I fancy something different, something... Smaller."

"Right then, you Bitch, sounds like all I'd be getting is bad attitude... And a cheap opportunity to cum." Vortex responded.

Slipstream grabbed his arm. "Make it worth my while. Prove yourself to me."

"I don't have to fuckin impress you..." Vortex said turning to go, but then turned back, "Prove myself, how?"

"I want some fuckin excitement. Tell you what! You fancy fucking me..." She shrugged, "I'm curious to fuck you for a laugh. Here's the deal, I'll fuck with you If, in the next week you can hunt me down, capture and subdue me." she half grinned.

Vortex was at a loss for words for a moment. "Just like that?"

"Yeah" she said looking good at her fingertips.

"And if I grab you now?"

"Then I'll break your fuckin arms, tear your optics out, rip off your spike and hang it on my wall for a laugh. Hunt me down, get it?" Slipstream said.

Vortex grinned, "You and your little games! I like."

"Oh yeah. This is real. We fight, we fight for real. You pull your punches and you'll get fuckin owned by me. I like it rough and if I can't find that with you, then fuckin go home, you little bitch." Slipstream said quietly while casually leaning against the wall.

" The only thing that's slightly off putting is how much like Starscream you are. "

" Starscream?! fucking Starscream?! Would you rather play with him? Are you retarded Vortex?! Because that shitty remark is gonna cost ya. Let's see exactly how much you like pain."

" Nah nah. Don't take it wrong. Anyway, Starscreams more into guys then he is into girls. He's like, with an Autobot male anyway. "

" Oh that Jetfire, Skyfire guy. I'm gonna bang him, guaranteed. Straight up, watch this fuckin space" She said confidently grabbing herself between the legs. .

"Really? Whatever the fuck for?" Vortex asked.

"Purely so I can stick it to that egotistical little bitch Starscream. That'll get a fuckin reaction out of him."

"So, how do I know that this isn't some joke of yours? How do I know you're not going to fuck me around, or fuck with me then go around talking smack about me and how crap I am? Because what you're proposeing to me sounds a little too good to be true." Vortex said suspiciously.

" Too good to be true? How? "

Vortex looked thoughtful a moment," Because I'm supposed to believe that all of a sudden, a gorgeous Seeker girl, who's in the command chain, wants to be hunted and captured for fun with an insistence on no holds barred sex? With me? When you have a fucking male harem inclusive of a load of those Seekers."

"Yeah. What's your fuckin problem. I mean, if you're not man enough I'll go back to the real men and find my kicks there."

"So this is legit, no joke on me? Because I'm warning you now... And I'm fucking deadly serious... I don't like a tease. If you fuck me around... You'll pay the price... And you'll pay it bad." Vortex asked.

"Cool it Vortex. Well, see most of the lovely guys at the table and in command here?"

"Uhh ha, well... They ain't lovely ta me... "

"They are... Some are gorgeous, I've fucked with a few of them. I know all the details, embarrassments, interests and sexual tastes of all of them, right down to what their favourite position is. I also know stuff they wouldn't want out there, each one of them, Everyone has something to hide... But, no man ever says no. Have you heard me shit talk any of them?"

" No, but you're kinda sweet on them, so what's your advice here? "

" Don't be fuckin crap." She said before walking away back to the table.

Nacelle turned to Slipstream," Are you on perimeter guard?"

" Nah I don't know. I haven't checked in with Megatron yet. " Slipstream answered.

" Starscreams air commander. " Skywarp said.

" Starscream can go fuck himself. I don't report to that whore. I report to Soundwave or Megatron."

"I wanna know how you managed that." Thundercracker grinned.

"No you don't." Slipstream grinned back.

Starscream walked in with Swindle. They were laughing over something.

Thundercracker poked Skywarp, "Talking about Whores.."

Starscream slumped at the table. "Everyone's on perimeter flights this afternoon. I've done the fuckin rotas. Took me ages on that fucking Word spread sheet. "

"I'm not under your command so I ain't doing shit." Slipstream said.

Everyone at the table waited excitedly as they enjoyed how she talked to Starscream with total impunity, and said all the things they wished they could.

"Shut up Cunt." Starscream answered.

"Cunt? The only cunt here's you. Go back to eating guys afts out. I'm a woman, something you know nothing about."

"Don't fuckin start on me woman and the biggest ass licker at the table is you, you ungrateful bitch and you know exactly what I'm talking about. ." Starscream casually replied.

Skywarp leant in, "Hmm. What is the psychological compulsion to do that. Maybe it's some weird programing that's come over from Earth, or I'll bet it's porn. Porn normalises some behaviours."

"Are you actually contemplating the inclination to eat aft?" Sunstorm asked.

"Yeah, I mean, Starscream. What do you think about it. Do you think it's weird?" Skywarp asked.

"Nah! Toss that fucking salad. What's your problem." Starscream said.

"Ohhh..." Thundercracker squeezed his optics shut and looked away.

"TC Don't you fuckin sneer at me! I've bedded more smoking hot people then you've had hot fuel Mr. Number three, I'm Number One on CybertronBangs dot com. You're neither witty, nor funny, nor perticularly clever. Certainly not well versed!" Starscream said as he turned to Nacelle, "A conversation with Thundercracker goes something like this... Fuck, fuck, fuckin, fucker, fuck, fuckin, fuck, fuckin, fuck him, fuck her, fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me. Yeah, you're real smart, Shakespeare. You punctuate how you live. It's all one big fuck isn't it. Unless ofcourse we're at the club surrounded by these girls he chases and picks off like Gisels in the fuckin serengeti, then substitute 'Fuckin' for 'Really'...that's really great! You're really beautiful... Really yeah... I notice all the fuckin vanishes."

" Shut up you fuckin piece of shit. " Thundercracker sighed.

"Right, I'll add 'Piece of shit' to your TIRED REPERTOIRE. " Starscream shouted while pointing at him.

Slipstream turned around, "Thundercracker, can't you feel the resentment pouring out of Starscream? He envys you because you have class and he is distinctly classless. He'll do anything... And I mean anything, to clutch at small threads of power."

Starscream pointed back at Slipstream,"The only thing he has that thankfully i don't, is you under him with your legs spread telling him how great he is. You're the one with the desperate grasps for power... And like I said, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I don't stoop to the depths you do." Slipstream said arrogantly.

"Oh yes you fucking do! Don't think I don't know what your game is. Any wonder why Soundwave hates you?"

"Soundwave hates me, because I have Megatrons 'ear' ."

Starscream burst into laughter, "Just his ear? But then, he did nail Nightbird behind my back and I'm never fucking letting that go!"

Slipstream glared back. "I've told him you're a loose, nasty little creep, who is nothing more then an agént provocatéur."

"Funny, he didn't mention that this morning in the command briefing that you're not invited to." Starscream said smugly.

"So, briefing is the new word for it..."

Dirge turned to Starscream, "Listen, it's been proven that you're a chick magnet Screamy, how do you get all the girls? You know... Except this bitchy one ofcourse."

" You need to understand female construction and psychology. That's all. " Starscream announced with authority.

Skywarp turned to Starscream," Are you actually going to attempt to teach them complicated femmebot psychology programming and try to teach them how to satisfy a woman? " he smiled.

" Yeah!"

" And do you... Know that shit yourself?" Skywarp asked.

Thundercracker snorted with laughter.

Starscream turned back to Dirge," Ignore these fucking haters. "

"Can you simplify the concept? " Thrust asked.

"It could never be simplified enough for you, Thrust.." Nacelle added.

Starscream looked up a moment in thought, then back to Thrust, " Yes. Eat them the fuck out. Do it good, do it long, till they start moaning and responding. Drink that fuckin cum, Eat that motherfucker like you ain't eat a bitch for a week. Have a good technique, like I do, but I ain't tellin ya that fuckin bit cause that's how I got famous and shit online. I fucking lick and suck on that shit all fuckin day. Mouth, frontal, aft hit all fucking three in that order, then... Finally, when she's all warmed up and ready, let her have that shit like a nuke and bust her wide open. Eat the fuckin box man, it's like a fucking blowjob for them. Eat up that sordid bitch front and back. "

Skywarp looked down at the table," That's certainly simplified... "

Thundercracker slowly face-palmed.

Slipstream nodded," I hate to say it but that's the first true thing I think he's ever said. I hate getting bad head or even worse... No fuckin head.." she said, making several of her team mates look more then a little uncomfortable as they looked around the room casually.

"I give the best head of all. But then, you won't know that!" Starscream grinned.

" Is that it? There are parts I'm not sure I understand. " Thrust replied.

Nacelle turned to Starscream," Could you perhaps draw some pictures for him?"

"Yeah! But draw good pictures, not stick figures so it's like free porn too." Ramjet added.

Starscream rolled his optics, "He's taking the piss out of you. Anyway, another good tip is make them cum before you fuck them. It's where everyone goes wrong. If you do that, their body is more relaxed and responsive and you don't have to worry about whether or not their getting off while your trying to. You can also get away with shit they'd otherwise stop you from doing."

Nacelle stared at Starscream," Are you running some weird pleasurebot sub protocol program we know nothing about? I'm sure somethings caused you to malfunction on your intimacy programing, and has left you in this state and caused all this shit. "

"Stop trying to write off my literal, fuckin success as a malfunction, Chelly. The only state I'm in is the state of 'got it goin on'. Anyway bitch, are you Mr. Number one on CybertronBangs?! I don't think so. I got a fucking plaque today from them. "

" Well, then you're officially... a fucker then.. " Thundercracker said with his arms crossed.

Starscream turned to Skywarp while pointing at Thundercracker, "See that?! Jealousys such an ugly thing. Because I have been formally recognised for my selfless practice, and devotion to the sexual arts."

"Don't make me fuckin heave. I'm not fuckin jealous of you! You're only fuckin number one because you've become notorious. It's not fuckin fame." Thundercracker replied.

" Who cares what a bunch of idiotic girls online say? If he's number one on CybertronBangs then that site isn't worth the bandwidth it consumes. " Slipstream said savagely.

Starscream turned to Thundercracker with a look of pure disgust on his face, "That site is run FOR the people, and BY the people. I've just verified the account as myself too. Anyway unlike TC, I don't give my number out to every girl that smiles at me, then jump as soon as she texts and go meet her. He's glorified Bootycall. He's the whore, not me. And before you refute that! Sure, no one's saying I'll give you this for that. But if you buy a girl drinks, take her out to eat, charm and sweet talk her into berth and do that routinely? Those fuckin drinks and shit are as good as payment."

"That's fuckin bullshit and you know it. It's standard dating etiquette. They're under no fuckin obligation at all. It's just a way to be social and feel someone out. Many a time I'll abandon pursuing one girl and switch to another, buy her drinks too."

"Yeah... But you ain't dating are ya?" Starscream replied sarcastically while shaking his head.

"When did any of this become your fuckin business?" Thundercracker said, pointing at Starscream.

Slipstream turned to Thundercracker, "Ignore Starscream, he's the biggest whore of all, and I should know."

Dirge turned to Starscream, "Thundercrackers pulling you off topic, Any other tips for girls?"

Starscream turned back to Dirge, "Yeah, use their name, girls love that. Don't be like Thundercracker and call everyone 'Sweetheart' or 'Lady' cause you can't remember their fuckin name. Convey your dominance and superiority to them with guile and subterfuge, but not fraud. Tell them what you're going to fucking do, then fucking do it. Women love discription and imagination where as men love action."

Hook rolled his optics," Well you'd know what women AND men want. "

"Teaching them chicanery will only lose them opportunities with women." Thundercracker cut in.

"Silence number three!" Starscream snapped.

"Look! CybertronBangs is not the benchmark of sexual prowess." Nacelle said.

"You see I know what men and women want and sometimes even blur the line. Though I've learnt what's directly excitable for a man is largely a turn off for women and visa versa."

"Yeah Dirge, your next lesson is the fuckin alphabet." Thundercracker said while laughing.

Starscream threw Thundercracker a disgusted look. "You see, what number three here can't grasp is that not all women like his brand of... Bullshit."

"What are you fuckin talking about, bullshit?!"

Starscream pointed at Thundercracker, "Yeah I've seen it! The charm offensive. Merely empty sweet talk. He shamelessly panders to their natural inclinations with a veiled unspoken premise of protection, honesty and exclusivity when in actual fact, our friend here is simply looking to fuck as many girls as possible. "

Slipstream casually took the straw out of her can and three the contents of her drink in Starscreams face.

Everyone was stunned.

Starscream casually got up from his seat, holding his drink, and walked over to Slipstream.

" I'm a lady. Are you really going to stoop so low in front of all these men and throw a drink in my face?"

"Heeh...Nuu.. " Starscream grinned widely, looking around at everyone, then back to Slipstream, before he slapped her hard across the face.

There was a screech of chairs with everyone getting up, some to assist Slipstream, who was playing up the poor hurt girl victim on the floor with great effect, the others staring angrily at Starscream.

"Meh, I have no issue putting a woman in her place." Starscream shrugged casually.

Thundercracker cracked his knuckles.

"Nooo! Do not, attack him." Soundwave shouted running across the canteen with Ravage bounding after him to make sure no harm came to Starscream otherwise it would be his fuckin head on the block... Again.

They knew Slipstream would get her revenge anyway, because this was how her and Starscream were. Two of a kind.


End file.
